My Husband’s Crazy Culinary Ideas!

By | June 28, 2011

If you’ve been reading my blog for a long time you would recognize the strange purple pasta above. No I didn’t make it, my beloved husband Butootee made it one day and tried to convince me to eat it. When I wouldn’t he was moping and hurt. I couldn’t eat it magdar (post).

The problem with my Butootee is that he thinks he is a chef. He might have a great taste in food but the concoctions he makes is just too weird yet rarely happen (thank god). For example the below “dish” from this a previous (post).

Then last month, for some reason, he comes home from the Co-Op with this catastrophe…

When I saw the jar of raw vine leaves my mouth dropped open in shock… 2al 2eeh? Mishtehe waraq 3enab (vine leaves) and he wants me, ME… yes ME to make it for him.

I tried to explain to him that waraq 3enab is NOT an easy dish to make and definitely not my style of cooking at all. First you need a hell of a mix. Second you need to spend HOURS wrapped the bloody leaves right. Then you need it to cook forever on the stove and then MAYBE you will get it right! So he goes ‘Show me how to wrap it and make me the mix and I will do it.’ Yeah right. Translation: I will put whatever I feel is like in a bowl of rice, nutmeg cumin rosemary ele oho… get the first one wrapped up in the worst way ever, then come nagging on your head to do it. Stand over my head in the 1 metre by 50 cm of my kitchen and yell and nag and make a huge mess of the place while I wrap those one by one.

Ain’t gonna happen. Period. The Jar has been sitting there for one month. By sheer coincedence while we were fighting over the presence of the jar I heard a knock on my apartment door and a plate of mama’s waraq 3enab appeared out of no where! He ate it all, yet still INSISTS on making me make him some. Every single day he reminds me.

The story is not over noooo… you see today he took a while to get home. I was getting worried but he told me he was going to the Co-Op to buy some supplies. He comes home with a zaatar baguette for me, two bottles of Apollinaris apple spritzer that I adore. and this catastrophe…

YA LAHWE! Appearantly there is this bloody Maggie ad that appears on TV where they put chicken pieces inside a bag and sauce provided in this new sachet and bake them then a lucsious juicy white piece of chicken appears, ready to be devoured.

Am I supposed to cook mutated fowl carcasses in my oven? He says he will cook them. Well, am I supposed to come home to the smell of baking chicken which makes me sick? Watch plates and oven dirty with burned chicken? Will those RAW chicken pieces be sitting in MY FRIDGE! Isn’t it bad enough that we have smoked turkey slices in there?

What am I supposed to do with this man? What on earth is wrong with getting a chicken from naif, eating in its plastic Styrofoam box, and disposing of it neatly  BEFORE I came home from work?

O he is hinting that I should post about the maggie chicken baking experience. Well excused me! I am NOT baking that chicken, not with a million KD.

24 Responses to “My Husband’s Crazy Culinary Ideas!”

  1. 7amood says:

    its been a while since i last posted a comment but i couldn’t resist..this post is HILARIOUS!!

    no wonder dathra is a hit! 😀

    bas tadreen shlon.. I feel sorry for your husband.. we are on the same boat! I am single..but what he does to you I do to my mom. and sometimes when she says “malha khilg”.. asawy nafsy abadhay w aroo7 il jam3ya w ashtiry il machla w ajarib il 6abkha ily kanet bkha6ry (key word here is AJARIB!).

    il zibda.. it never works out!

    a word of advice.. tara il rayal sira fe be6na.. itha yaby shay maskeen la trideena..goolela tem 6al 3omrek 😉

    allah yi7fithech int w rayelch.

    • danderma says:

      Ameen mashkoor ma ga9art…

      Allah ykhaleelik el walda ma36eetik wayh :p El madame tra ma tertha…
      O abashrek kil yom yegool killa minich sawetene meteen itwaklenee o sawaitene meteen? E7terna wya il ryayeel

  2. deQor8 says:

    I’ll bake it for a million KD … and what exactly is wrong with smoked turkey slices?? I love that stuff!! and so good for you as well 😛

    • danderma says:

      They smell horrible and look even worse! I can’t understand how people can consume them :S

      • deQor8 says:

        sounds like you have an issue with poultry … don’t chirp too loud, you might have the Kuwait Chicken Society suing you for damaging their business LOL ….. a la Oprah & Beef industry in USA years back

        • danderma says:

          There is a Kuwaiti chicken society????

          I have issues with poultry, meat, and fish. I am a vegetarian 😉

  3. Fahad says:

    LOL baghait agool maskeen chan astaw3ib khal6at el 3aish wil 3nab! LAISH!!

    • danderma says:

      You would be surprised if you read the comments on that post. Ako family y7e6oon 9a7an 3nab 3la il ‘3ada o they mix it with their rice o yes they are in Kuwait! Laish? beats me… 7safa 3la el3aish!!!

  4. swera says:

    3ndena o 3ndech khair yaw5ayty! nafs el7ala bs entay ar7am! ana yabini asawi kelshay mn scratch! la o eyeebly kelshay FRESH! mo mfarzan :S

    tawni yalla at3alam adesh elma6ba5 o al7een yabini a3jen 3ajeen wasawi fa6ayer O_O! wazeedech mn eshe3er beit! beyeeebly Fresh Turkey yabini a6ba5a, ballah hatha shlon a3abel fe?! *sniff*

    allah y3eenech we3eena

    • danderma says:

      FRESH TURKEY! Laish 3ndokom thanksgiving?

      Sheft el post mal el fish market… ana dakhaltah marra o bs b3d tobah… he can’t force me inside or I’ll make a scene or vomiting every where, same for soog el la7am…. urgh!

      La 7awla wala qowata ella bellah

      P.S. Shahbar ‘3ada el semach on Friday?

      • swera says:

        it went perfect el7mdellah! all the food was cooked perfectly under the supervision of my aunt over the phone 😀

        & don’t bring the Turkey subject, im hoping he’ll forget it n just let it go :(

  5. Sn3a says:

    Loooool ambaih ambaaih
    Shofe ana mo nbatya bs most7el ashof
    La7m or deyay mo m6bo5 bdon ma tlo3 chbdy f6b3n most7el a6b5!!
    Raylch mskeeen hehehehe ana b3d shawgtny da3ayat Maggi ma ynlam ;p bs salft wrg l 3nb nkta! A9ln l m7ashy a93b shy bldnya!
    O 3ala fkra kl rayyal kuwaiti 3bala oho falta eb kl shy 59o9an l 6ba5

    • danderma says:

      Ee shay masha2 Allah hercules mo men!
      Madry mino gayel lah ina ana Martha Stewart. Lo awade hal qarsha malat il vine leaves 7g martha ma ra7 tertha itsaweeha!

  6. Um Maryam says:

    I have to take your husband’s side on this one. From what your posts about your “Butoote” he comes across as a very nice, supporting and loving husband who really has very small demands. He will really appreciate it if you made him the dishes that he loves and craves. The sight and smell of chicken my gross you out but imagine how happy he would feel that you put his interest first. Haraam make him happy.

    • danderma says:

      Really has very small demands eh?
      Let me put it this way, the stories of his endless “Demands” could fill up an entire blog on its own. This cooking thing is just scratching the tip of the ice berg.

      I don’t mind cooking for him. He knows it. I would whip up an an entire feast for him gladly and watch his eyes light up like a little child on his birthday. But I have do have a red zone that he knows and cooking red raw bloody chicken is one of them :S

  7. ShoSho says:

    LooooL Hilarious..

    ishtihait warag 3inab.. chinna basawweh bacher..

    Agool warag 3inabkom is amazing, madri if your mum does the same recipe 😉 but I could eat a whole plate of it!

    • danderma says:

      My mom’s a7la wayed 😉
      You should try my mom’s fattoush! When you come home you must taste it 😉

      Loool etsawoon waraq 3enab ib geneva?

      • ShoSho says:

        Ohhh Abiiii! Yo3ana I am fasting looooool I am craving all kinds of things! lol

        Yes of course.. 6ab3an bs min ween lee wain lol Tara I love wrapping it bs yabeela fathawa o mazaj

        • danderma says:

          lool taqabal Allah :*

          be thab6 yabela fathawa o mazaaj. I know how to wrap it but I haven’t done so since the 80’s maybe!

  8. Chirp says:

    I love coooooking!!! I don’t mind quitting my job and just cooking, and I hate making anything from a box, lazim from scratch or I dont count it as cooking :p
    I still need to try making warag 3anab, I love it!

  9. N says:

    Hi Danderma, tra el maggi bag thingy is not half bad wallh, I tried the spicy mix and it was good and my kids liked it :) if you hate the smell of chicken, let your hubby tries it while you are out its not hard :p