The Day I Lost my Ability to Write

By | August 18, 2013

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Have you ever suffered from a writer’s block so severe, it makes you strain to remember how words go together hand in hand?

I suppose not many would relate to what I’m talking about, but this happened to me. I love words, words are my thing. I could reduce a classroom to tears stringing a few words into sentences that would grab your heart. Many of my friends, blog readers, and followers love Danderma the writer most and believe me I do too, but one day I woke up and I couldn’t, I couldn’t, I simply couldn’t write anymore.

I hope that’s only writer’s block and not signs of dementia or some brain disorder, but my life wasn’t going easily. I lost the ability to sleep, I gained a lot of weight, and my temper was through the roof. I was passing through a storm that I saw no end for, thrashing blindly left and right. Then I slowly resurfaced again and I think I can see light at the end of the tunnel.

Perhaps you know what I’m talking about and perhaps you don’t, maybe you don’t even care. I can tell you this though, while I was unable to write like I used to before I took refuge in my camera lens. I used it to express whatever was going through my brain until the day comes and I could let my words free of their unseen shackles. I think the time has come now, I catch myself writing sentences and speaking all the time in my head, silently, absentmindedly, and nostalgically.

All my life, no one ever wanted to listen to what I had to say. I was always invisible, shimmying through the days like a ghost.Then came the day I opened my blog, over five years ago, and people began to stop and read. I am most powerful with my words, losing the ability to summon them was like losing my sword in the middle of a bloody battle. I was distraught, and grief-stricken, but I think I now can pick up from where I left off again, I just need to sort through the jumble that’s inside my head and know what I want to write about. Meanwhile, I will just let my fingers run free, how I love the sound of my fingertip tap dancing on my keyboard.

Revving up, ranting a bit, maybe I won’t make sense maybe I will, but I will have to. What I can’t put down in words I will display through my lens. Thank you, my dear readers, and especially a particular dear reader, for still having faith in me and waiting patiently for my humble words. I wish they’d be able to flow as effortlessly as they did once again.


12 Comments

ilulzBlog on August 18, 2013 at 12:20.

Welcome back dear :)
I was wondering the other day what happened, why you are so quiet.
It’s always a pleasure to have you back and read your posts.

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danderma on August 18, 2013 at 20:06.

Thank you hon :)

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Sheikha on August 18, 2013 at 12:56.

I remember that when I first stumbled across your blog, no day was complete without reading your posts. I used to save them till I was a bit free, order a cup of tea and savour every word. It was my daily espite. I adore you Danderma. What you are going through might seem frightening now but it is perfectly normal. You just need a break, a change of scene, a time for yourself.

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danderma on August 18, 2013 at 20:05.

Thank you sweetheart, I love you too :*
I need a total reformat or a really, really long vacation somewhere abroad.

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q8marronglace on August 18, 2013 at 16:52.

Don’t worry you’ll get it back in no time , do the opposite and read more then you’ll fine yourself want to write again so bad :)

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danderma on August 18, 2013 at 20:04.

I barely have time to read these days but I do miss it for sure…

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shahoulee on August 18, 2013 at 22:46.

You GO Girl =D

never give up on things that you love doing

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danderma on August 19, 2013 at 12:55.

Thank you love :*

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Sheikha on August 19, 2013 at 07:55.

Yes a long vacation is the perfect remedy…but choose somewhere new and out of your comfort zone and you will instantly feel a surge of creativity and energy. I think Prague would appeal to you. It has the perfect equation of city and country life with a happening scene and great cafes and restaurants.

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danderma on August 19, 2013 at 12:50.

Prague? Now that’s interesting… which language do they speak there?

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ElPaDRiNo Q8 on August 19, 2013 at 08:53.

every person have to have a break sometime .. but hope yours will not be as long as mine :p

i faced this issue long time ago .. and yet .. and still in that phase!!!!!

i guess this means bye bye blogging for me!

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danderma on August 19, 2013 at 12:49.

I don’t believe that. I see that through the past few years you come and go but always do come back :)

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