Armies of Crickets are Everywhere!

By | July 20, 2013

cricket2We noticed one yesterday, a lone greyish brown thing walking right past my couch as I was lounging in peace. In an instant the invading cricket was crushed underneath a pair of nearby crocs. I was astonished, where on earth did he come from exactly? Before I had the time to process that Read more »

Help: How to Kill a Lizard “Brai39i”?

By | July 15, 2013

brai39i

If you find yourself in a situation where you are home on your own, ready to have some precious me quality time, only a pest in the name of brai39i -dessert lizard- decides to intrude and crash your party of one. The slimy, greyish pest with round probing eyes will zoom on the wall where your favourite couch is perched, hissing soundlessly, his tail flailing about, and you will find yourself screaming your lungs out while your legs jump to the furtherest corner of the room away from him. Read more »

Help: Stray Cats Invaded my Doorway!

By | May 17, 2012

Since before I was born Kuwait’s streets were infested with scores of stray cats. Everywhere you went, there must be a group of cats sitting around the garbage can tearing it apart to have that Zbaidi leftovers from lunch, a couple of

Read more »

The Man Who Came Knocking on My Door to “Check the Water”

By | April 17, 2012

My husband bid me good buy and went out to meet his friend on Sunday night. I put the news on and snuggled into my warm bisht at home. A few minutes had passed when, at 9:05 PM, an urgent pounding came on Read more »

Have You Ever Driven Your Car at Full Speed?

By | April 16, 2012

I was stuck in traffic like we all are on daily basis. I was kinda bored so I started to look around my car trying to find something to pass the time when my eyes fell on the speed gauge meter thing.

My car can drive up to 280 KM/H. If I am not mistaken my old Mercedes can go even faster than my Tuareg! 280! That is quite a big number! I usually drive between 80-120 KM/H in the highway depending on the traffic. I think there was one occasion in my life that my meter made it to 180 or 200 and that was it. I don’t think I need all that “speed” options in my car. Who in his right mind would drive 200? or 220? Let alone 280!

At 120 and you can barely control a speeding car! I shudder to think of how it feels to drive a car at 280 KM/H! Why do car manufacturers go to that length? Are there people who need to drive at 200+ KM/H? I heard there was a highway in Germany where the slowest you can go is 120. Have you ever driven, or heard of someone, driving at the car’s full speed? WHY!?

The “Neighbor” Who Came Asking for Money!

By | April 13, 2012

Yesterday evening we were sitting outdoors in our tiny corridor/make shift tiny garden. Drinking tea and enjoying the post rain weather when a white car pulls out in front of us in the street and the driver honks to grab our attention while Read more »

Ten Types of Drivers you Encounter on the Streets of Kuwait

By | March 29, 2012

1- The vain driver: They cannot stop looking at themselves in the mirror. A comb will come out to fix a stray hair, a kohl pen to pop the eyes even more. Then suddenly the iPhone is whipped out and click click it goes taking pictures of them pouting or posing because their beauty at that moment cannot go undocumented. People are free to do so of course but we would appreciate it if you weren’t driving on the highway while your tending to your beauty!

2- The good driver: or the ones who want to be a good driver but they don’t know how. They drive too slowly. They seem too scared to change lanes so they must flash their signals 10 minutes before they want to turn or move. For some unfathomable reason they always, always, ALWAYS drive on the fastest lane? For the love of god, WHY!

3- The kings of the road: They will use the safety lane to cut you off. They will overtake your space in a U-turn or in a traffic light demanding to pass. They will drive in the middle of two lanes as long as they want and don’t you DARE honk your horn at them. After all they own the road as far as they are concerned.

4- The Casanova: Mostly seen on 2nd ring road or Gulf road. This guy is god’s gift to women therefore we must all drive slowly and wait for him to block the road driving next to a poor girl driver trying to get away from him while he tries to convince her he loves her and wants to marry her if she would only take his number. Shakhbary! Grow up!

5- El7ajjeya: women my grandmother’s age who love to drive a Yukon chock full of kids, help, and grocery shopping. She is always hassled because of the one thousand requests that fall on her poor head. She also, sadly, doesn’t know how to drive that Yukon so if you spot her on the street, steer clear of her path!

6- Elshayeb: he would be a proud old man, well over the age of 80 with a license that expired 50 years ago, and can barely see so he leans all the way on his steering wheel and squints. Of course he walks all over the road in whatever fashion he feels like it o fekom khair honk your horn at him. El9aber zain.

7- The Jerk: ykoon la3eeeeeen. He would be driving slowly and you want to change lanes because of him, but suddenly he picks up speed so you wouldn’t go before him. Or you would signal you want to turn and suddenly he decides he wants to take his time on the road -or speed- elmohim that you don’t accomplish your goal.  Happened to me too many times lel asaf. I wonder how miserable their lives must be w3liya.

8- The labor worker: he would have a tiny run down dusty car filled to the brim with tired and sad looking fellow labor workers. There are just too many of them in the car and you can tell because the body of the car is almost scraping the pavement. Of course he must go very slowly. What is not fathomable how ever is why they insist on driving on the fastest lane? Why not on the slow lane where they can spend one hour crossing a bridge?

9- The Taxi: the ones that pick up people whenever and wherever the situation allows. They are always driving super slowly because they are browsing the streets looking for potential customers. They wouldn’t mind breaking and stopping suddenly in the middle of the highway if they thought a potential customer would come along and even if they are occupied, they would still drive super slowly and never, ever, in the slow lane. If only we could get rid of those taxis then half of the congestion in the Kuwaiti roads would clear up. Hmph.

10- Elma6yoor: He is always in a hurry, always driving 160 KM/H, and seems to have misplaced his brakes. It doesn’t matter if the road is blocked up and there is no where to go, he would still be driving too fast and expecting you to either move out of his way or keep up. He is a potential accident waiting to happen and you can see him a mile away. Keep his path clear because, god forbid you delay him, he has no trouble running you over on his quest of madness.

Do you have anymore categorizations for the drivers you see on our streets?

The Creepy Woman who Knocked on my Door

By | March 16, 2012

I had planned on spending a nice quiet Thursday evening at my new apartment alone. My husband went out to meet a friend of his. I had put on a nice DVD “The Lake House”, Settled in on the couch browsing 6alabat trying to place an order for dinner from Salad Boutique, put the iPhone away and on silent when suddenly I heard a knock on my door.

Just so you can get a picture of how invasive the encounter I am about to till you is, I have to describe my new apartment. Its a ground floor apartment with a little yard and a metal gate that we keep closed -but not locked-. In order to open it you need to extend your hand inside the gate and open the latch. Then you have to walk about 3 meters until you reach the front door. The front door has two big windows that we keep covered with a curtain.

Anyways, I heard the knock and I was startled. Who would be visiting me unannounced? I wasn’t expecting anyone and my husband has just left -and he has a key!-.

I get dressed quickly, opened the door a crack, and peered out. A young woman in her mid 20’s wearing a 3baya who didn’t look like a Kuwaiti. She spoke perfect Kuwaiti though and asked me about “How are you living here?” and “How much is your rent?” and “whose the owner of the building because I want to move flats”! She even had the audicty to tell me that “You are showing through your curtains by the way, but I thought I am a woman and you are a woman so its ok!!!!”

Excuse me?

How on earth does someone have the nerve to extends his own hand through the metal gate of someone’s house, push open the gate, walk all the way to the front door, and peer in through “the curtains?” but think its OK because she saw a woman sitting innocently in her own living room and she is a woman fa its OK?

How dare you stand there after you trespassed through my yard and opened my gate and peered through my windows to interrogate me about my living arrangements?

Is this normal? Could she possibly be a woman who was simply too curious o overly malgoofa? Or did she have another agenda in mind? Like check the place out and come back for another visit?

And how could I have been so stupid? How could I open the door to this stranger who simply had no boundaries and no shame? What if she had others hiding with her and they grabbed me? Or pushed through me to the apartment?

After I curtly answered her quesions and asked her to go ask my next door neighbors I locked the door and adjuted the curtains. Heart pounding I almost hit myself for my stupidity! When I told my husband he was furious! He said I had no business opening the door to a strange woman who just opened our gate and trespassed through to interrogate us.

Should I be more careful? It didn’t occur to me before. I’ve heard -and seen- crazy women who would barge in houses pretending to be a neighbor and ask about money but even those women rang the bell properly! No one ever had the guts to just wander inside our yard like that!

So what am I going to do? 1- Get a “Beware of the Dog” sign and hang it on the metal gate. 2- Lock the gate for good and 3- Look for a self defense martial arts class 4- Visit the shooting range more often and look into getting permits to owning a gun for such occasions!

Needless to say my evening was tainted with fear and incredulousity! I wonder if I should have called the police for her instead?

Have you ever encountered something similar before? What would you have done?

The Boy Who Cried at the Movies

By | February 28, 2012

During the National & Liberation day holiday we decided to go to the cinema and watch the highly acclaimed “Woman in Black”. The woman in black is a horror movie, period. As we settled in our seats we heard “Gaa gaa aghoo” as always. Some mindless parent had decided to bring their infant into a horror movie. We just hoped he would shut up and not gurgle while we were watching.

Then in the middle of a very very very scary part of the movie we suddenly hear “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH EYKHAWEEEEEEEF”. Apparently a kid below the age of ten was scared out of his mind with what he saw. He began crying -very loudly, drowning out the sound of the movie- and the audience started laughing at his bawling. You would think his mother would leave her seat and take her frightened child outside? Noooo. She didn’t even bother to shush him. The most important thing was for her to watch the movie whether or not the child was traumatized for life and to hell with the goats sitting around her trying to watch. They will manage.

Isn’t there a rule against letting babies inside the cinema? How was this child allowed inside a horrific scary movie that I, a 31 year old woman, kept my eyes closed with my palms most of the time? What kind of mother are you, taking your child to an hour and a half of horror? Lets say you were stupid enough not to check what the movie is about before it started, when you saw it was a horror movie and it scared your child, why didn’t you leave? Why would you stay put?

Its about time movie viewer ratings were enforced in this country. Not every movie is suitable for all genres! If the people are too stupid to choose the appropriate movie then a law should be made to force them to keep the children away from such movies until eventually they learn and start respecting the law! Its not rocket science y3ni!

Half a dozen nightmares in one night :S

By | January 9, 2012

I’ve been having a lot of nightmares recently. Scary, wake up screaming drenched in sweat nightmares! Worst of all was last night when I had not one, not two, but five nightmares! The last one so horrible, involved leftover bloody bodies and such.

Come to think about it, in nightmare number three I was talking to my father about having a nightmare where I saw a brai39i! So that technically makes it six nightmares, one inside the other, inception style!

Is there a reason maybe why a person gets so much nightmares? I doubt you could walk up to a doctor and say “I am having so many nightmares that I wake up exhausted and tired, what can I do?”. Anything scientific explanation regarding that?  Or is it just built up stress that I am trying to suppress so it comes back in the form of nightmares?

What do you think?

Noaf and the Steak a la Cockroach…

By | January 8, 2012

*Disclaimer* This post is not a “Fathee7a fe Ma63am” post. This post is about something that happened and what is the right way to act if it happened. Please read properly and actually comprehend what you are reading. If you want a “fathee7a” you can always go to montada el fathaye7. El Adab ra7ma. Thank you.

Last Monday around 5 PM in the evening a friend of mine, Noaf, went to a famous sea side restaurant in Kuwait to have lunch with a friend. Sadly this restaurant is one of my top ten favorite Read more »

Is there a meningitis epidemic in Kuwait?

By | January 4, 2012

OK for some reason this post keeps erasing its contents. Let me rewrite it again.

I read somewhere that a worked from a supermarket had collapsed and died from meningitis. Meningitis is basically a disease that effects the thing that covers the brain and the spinal cord and is very dangerous. Now I am not one to Read more »

Selfridges New Psychic Service

By | December 27, 2011

As I was shopping in Selfridges basement I saw a new little corner that had popped up. The thing is, it is a Psychics corner! Quite unusual really but a bit scary and frankly unnerving! Not something I expected from Selfridges to provide.

Its not that I am uptight or anything. I usually do not get within a mile of anything supernatural or psychics. Sakenhom masakenhom as I always think. So the thought of shopping near a tiny little corner where a “mediumship” is being held for contacting a dead person’s soul is just too scary for me! Plus, many people regard that kind of, erm, lets say profession as pure rubbish therefore people who take it seriously would be scared and people who think its rubbish will just feel that the corner is not really suitable inside a department store. I don’t think its all rubbish by the way if you were wondering hence why I stay away.

And what on earth is an Angel reading?! What angel? Guardian anger? Never heard of that before! For me I know for a fact that from here on in I will be avoiding that corner of Selfridges like the plague! What if a “mediumship” goes wrong ballah? Bism Allah el ra7man el ra7eem. Salamo Qawlen min Raben Ra7eem!

What do you think? Would you use their services the next time you shop at Selfridges?

A String of Bad Luck?

By | December 19, 2011

Something weird is going on and I cannot put my hand on it.

A few days ago my Blackberry died on me. Every single piece of information or data was wiped forever from the device. All my contacts, emails, applications, passwords, images, phone numbers, messages, everything was gone in a blink. Nothing was left. Nada!

So I make do with what little data I could conjure up from my memory. Things go smoothly again until yesterday when my Blackberry dies on me again! This time it simply won’t open up! It has been on the charger -which is fine btw- for over 24 hours and no matter what I do it won’t work.

Surprise of all suprises the Blackberry is NOT the only thing that is not working. Suddenly, on the same day, my landline phone dies on me as well for no apparent reason! It just sits there like a piece of junk without any response!

So its just the Blackberry and the normal phone? No! The dvd player! The brand new  glossy Samsung DVD player stops dead in its track while showing a movie and that’s it! On the same damn day! We turned it off, on, plugged it out, shook it, blown into its, plugged it again. No response, nothing, NADA!

How is it possible for three of my favorite electrical devices to die unexceptionably on me on the exact same day? Just like that? Is it a surge of electricity that maybe fried the circuits? Or something more creepy? or a 3ain? or just a string of bad luck?

Has anything like this happened before to you? Its so weird!

A drive in Mecca Street

By | November 24, 2011

One of the things we enjoy doing is taking long car drives, exploring new things and finding absurd things. Last weekend after breakfast in Ayyame in the Village we drove around f7a7eel and Mahboula and reached the famous Mecca street which is equivalent to share3 el ma6a3em in Salmiya. I saw many Read more »

Help: To Lasik or not to Lasik?

By | November 14, 2011

The other night I was exceptionally tired so I went to bed early. As I was warmly snuggling underneath my covers I remembered I still had my daily contact lenses on so I took them out and discarded them on the night stand reminding my self as I fell asleep to clean them up tomorrow morning.

In the morning the two lenses had shriveled into a hard plastic mess that stuck to the night stand and simply wouldn’t get off easily. For a moment there I imagined them getting all plasticy dry and sticking to my eye balls. The image wasn’t pretty.

The realization that I am putting something this harmful in my eyes saddened me. Yet I find no alternative. Me & glasses do not mix, looks wise and practicality wise. Plus I am too chicken to go get myself a lasik operation. I’ve seen my brother’s eyes after the operation and he was simply in agony. What if the operation goes wrong and I go blind? It happens! What if I do the surgery, ruin perfectly fine eye tissue -that’s how it works by the way- and in a year or two my eye sigh deteriorates again, as it happened to one of my friends?

Do you think its worth it to go through with the Lasik surgery? If you’ve done it or know someone who has please share your experience.

Would You Touch That Thing?

By | October 13, 2011

Whenever we walk into an electronics store my Butootee heads straight into the newest tablets or phones section and starts jabbing away at the touch screen. I have developed the habit of running before him and screaming “Don’t Touch it! Shoof! Wa9ekh Wa9ekh” before he does. He however always ignores me and touches it anyways and he insists I try the device too! G63! Not in this life time!

I hate touch screens, specifically public touch screens because of the amount of grime I see on the screens. I believe they can be dirtier that the toilet especially if they are as dirty as the Motorolla thing I saw last weekend above! God knows why these fingers are greasy and where they have been last, or whom do they belong to! Why can’t stores offer cleansing wipes for their devices like makeup stores do bdal hal galaga? This is disgusting, simply disgusting.

Do you touch electronic devices or touch screens?

A Dangerous drive home…

By | October 6, 2011

Two days ago as I was driving home from work I was stuck in traffic behind this waneet. To be frank I got jittery and scared and wanted to switch lanes ASAP for those metal poles he had lying there unprotected could fly through my windshield the next time he presses the brake pedals on his car. Serious damage could be inflicted on me and its really dangerous. His driving wasn’t the best either!

The moment I moved my car away from him, I was behind this cement trunk!

This huge truck was overloaded with cement bags. Unsecured in any manner possible and overflowing all over the edges. It was driving and swerving and I was sweating in fear and trying to get away. If one of those cement bags fly off and with the velocity of the truck, it would be very destructive especially if it hit my windshield.

I am not sure if there is a law against securing truck’s load before driving them. Is there? If there is then I would report those two reckless drivers! If there isn’t then WHY ON EARTH NOT? Why can’t they use ropes, or lessen their loads, or use a bigger truck to drive around with their dangerous shipments instead of endangering lives unnecessarily?

On a positive note I saw this car on the road as well and it made me laugh 😀 Y7leelhom…

Would You Eat This? “Pickled Eggs”

By | September 19, 2011

I was in TSC Shaab the other day when I saw these jars of… Pickled Eggs! Urgh! La o free range b3d!

I keep imagine their taste being a cross between a boiled egg and a big fat cucumber pickle. I wonder how they smell also? My god! Would anyone actually choose to eat pickled eggs over real life eggs? What culinary creation calls for pickled eggs ballah?

I wouldn’t eat it if you paid me a million KD and told me it will help me go down 10 kilos after eating it. No way! Would you eat an eggs from a jar of pickled eggs?

Weird Email Asking for Money on My Contact Form…

By | September 14, 2011

Every single person with email on earth must have received a scam email at least once where a person with an internet and email access is posing as poor and in need for money. Usually those spammers are pretty easy to point out and ignored at once.

However I had received this very weird email from someone who didn’t email it to me directly. They went to the contact form on my blog, filled out their information, and asked me for $1500 so she could finish her last year in college to become an architect because she is an orphan and can’t work anymore to put herself through college because she is too tired and school is so demanding and she sold out all her jewelry!

Did anyone else get the same on their contact form? This is no generalized email sent by some auto bot sitting somewhere. This is an actual person who went to my blog, looked around for the contact form, and decided that I have $1500 to give out. It scares me a little. Also it angers me. Yet it also produced some guilt in my chest: what if its real? She is a real person in need and here I am accusing her of being a thief?

What do you think?

Habba Alert: Fake Eyelashes!

By | July 3, 2011

I am used to seeing fake eye lashes worn in wedding parties with full make up on. Some use them subtly, others look just ridiculous but then you see some pretty horrible stuff at weddings.

What I noticed since last week is that many girls are wearing fake eyelashes. You would go to Mcdonald’s or the Co-Op and see a girl wearing casual clothing and not above normal makeup BUT has a big thick extra long fake layer of eyelashes, Miss Piggy style, extending 2 centimetres out of her face

Not one, not two, MANY! They are every where, sadly its the exact same style of fake eyelashes that screams fake. Wear fake eyelashes wherever you want, but why this big? Its like wearing a makasha on top of your eyelids and they must feel heavy! Plus, I don’t think its such a good idea to wear them in this bad dusty weather, they will need dusting afterwards for sure.

Wear them, keifkom, just tone them down. For the love of god tone them down so you would at least end up looking somewhat normal! Eshda3wa kil hal rmoosh!

Cupcake Boutique Ramadan Collection

By | July 2, 2011

Still didn’t get your Ramadan Dara3a yet? Then check out the Cupcake Ramadan collection in Al Tilal Mall. For more info check their website www.cupcakeaddict.com

 

My Husband’s Crazy Culinary Ideas!

By | June 28, 2011

If you’ve been reading my blog for a long time you would recognize the strange purple pasta above. No I didn’t make it, my beloved husband Butootee made Read more »

The Book Signing Night at 52 Degrees

By | June 8, 2011

I am overwhelmed by all the love, support, kind words, and sincere wishes I have recieved yesterday. I never knew I was that popular :p I was literally spoiled!

If you follow me on twitter you would know that I had an alternative plan of bolting to Dubai yesterday. I was freaked out! What if no one showed up o enga9 wayhee? After all el nass ya finals ya flu! What if I freeze while I am supposed to talk, or rip something -I did- o atfashal? Read more »

Last post before the book signing and a past prediction…

By | June 7, 2011

Apparently in January I was watching a writer being interviewed on TV and tweeting about it as usual when my dear friend @WAlsabah sent me the very sweet tweet above. I must have laughed when I read it and said insha2 Allah, after all how many of these wishes you get everyday right?
As we were talking about the book signing a few days ago she reminded me of this tweet, of wishing me to become a writer one day and publish a book. Fawelat 3lay bel q8y as they say… sure enough she sent me the tweet and there it was in all its glory! Masha2 Allah 😀
WAlsabah da3awat.ha mostajaba apparently 😉 Thank you love for believing in me o for your lovely emfawal 😉 See you tonight insha2 Allah!
This is my last post before the book signing… akheran ra7 teftakoon men il 7anna :p If you follow Jacquies my friend she will be updating live from the events with pictures on her twitter if you cannot make it. Right now I am writing this then going to go get dressed and ready for I have to be there in exactly two hours… I have butterflies in my stomach, I cannot find my favorite KJL bracelet, my feet hurt and I am two seconds away from wearing my crocs to the books signing -why not!-, I have absolutely no Idea what to say about my book nor what to write when I sign people’s books, and I might very well grab a plane and escape to Dubai tonight at 6 PM…
Wish me luck and see you soon insha2 Allah if you are coming tonight.